Season 7
1982 · 23 episodes
Episodes
1. Sorry, Wrong Lips
October 6, 1982 · 30m
Debbie Reynolds plays an actress whose torrid memoirs convince Mel he's the one she remembers as the greatest kisser in her life.
2. Do You Take . . . ?
October 13, 1982 · 30m
Mel tries to outdo an old buddy who shows up boasting a track record of fast living and sporting a blonde on his arm as proof.
3. The Secret of Mel's Diner
October 20, 1982 · 30m
There's gold in them there walls, or so Mel reckons after learning that the eccentric who built his diner left $20,000 stashed in another building.
4. Alice at the Palace
October 27, 1982 · 30m
Joel Grey offers his services gratis as the leading man in a musical revue bankrolled by Mel and featuring Alice. Mel, however, has never heard of Grey and gives the role to his bookie.
5. Joel Grey Saves the Day
November 3, 1982 · 30m
Joel Grey walks out after producer Mel turns a revue about New York into a desert musical with tunes like ""Two Tootsies from Tucson"" and ""Ramona from Arizona.""
6. Alice's Turkey of a Thanksgiving
November 10, 1982 · 30m
Alice's meddlesome mother knocks the stuffing out of her daughter's Thanksgiving dinner.
7. Carrie on the Rebound
January 9, 1983 · 30m
Carrie is slow to come out of a depression after a quickie divorce.
8. Jolene's Brother Jonas
January 16, 1983 · 30m
Jolene's brother pays a surprise visit, but the surprise is on him, he gets an icy reception from his sister.
9. Alice Sees the Light
February 28, 1983 · 30m
Everyone takes with a grain of salt Alice's claim that she saw a UFO.
10. Vera the Virtuoso
March 7, 1983 · 30m
Vera, whose cello playing can reduce a virtuoso to tears, is asked to play in a local string quartet.
11. Alice Faces the Music
March 14, 1983 · 30m
The waitresses pit their musical knowledge against that of three plumbers on a TV quiz show.
12. Tommy, the Jailbird
March 21, 1983 · 30m
Alice fears that freshman Tommy is abusing his new freedom away from home by majoring in extracurricular activities.
13. Jolene and the Night Watchman
March 28, 1983 · 30m
Jolene can't bring herself to bruise the tender feelings of a bruiser who saved her life and now considers her his girl.
14. Mel's Dream Car
April 11, 1983 · 30m
Mel is stripping his gears over his jazzy new Porsche he purchased for a measly $20.
15. Come Back Little Sharples
April 17, 1983 · 30m
Mel has had it up to his keister with the way things are going so he absconds to his apartment for a beer and pizza binge.
16. Vera, the Torch
April 24, 1983 · 30m
Vera wishes her landlady the worst for evicting her pets then feels responsible when the old crank's apartment catches on fire.
17. The Grass is Always Greener
May 1, 1983 · 30m
In role reversals, Mel becomes an employee by accepting an executive position with a catering firm, and the waitresses become owners by buying his diner.
18. Tommy Fouls Out
May 15, 1983 · 30m
Afraid that he's lost the ""right stuff,"" Tommy quits the basketball team.
19. Vera on the Lam
May 22, 1983 · 30m
After Mel decides to have the waitresses bonded, Vera owns up to a criminal past and takes it on the lam.
20. Mel's Cousin Wendy?
May 29, 1983 · 30m
To steal a competitor's secret sauce recipe, Mel persuades his cousin to pose as a woman and apply for a job as a Burger Baby.
21. Sweet Erasable Mel
June 5, 1983 · 30m
Mel's experiment with a computer goes well until Vera enters a transaction and erases every trace of Mel's financial existance.
22. Tommy Hyatt, Business Consultant
June 12, 1983 · 30m
Using Tommy's marketing advice, Mel increases his business but also learns he's heading for bankruptcy.
23. Jolene Lets the Cat Out of the Bag
September 18, 1983 · 30m
Jolene's hair is standing on end with a cat burglar prowling her neighborhood.